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My assumption about this person indicated that I was on a date with an old fashioned misogynist.

But there are other women who may not be offended by this gesture, and may even feel cared for by it. Here are three tools you can use to make sure no one crosses your boundaries: If you know, be as clear as you can from the beginning about what your boundaries are.

I once went on a first date to a restaurant with somebody who proceeded to order my food for me. It was many years ago and I remember just sitting, making a mental note to myself that we would never go on a date again.

But here is the thing: I was also unclear to that I was bothered by the action.

It is often hard to acknowledge differences between people on the first few dates.

Unless you are someone for whom the philosophy “opposites attract” is paramount, you may find this difficult also.

Such boundaries are usually unrealistic and don’t last, she said.

You instantly respond back with another five-paragraph essay. Your mom conveniently reminds you that men like a bit of a chase and this poor man was probably feeling bogged down by all the emotional effort involved in responding to your texts. Why Fast Isn’t Better Imagine trying to play a game of hide and seek and the person hiding stands right behind the seeker shouting “Here I am! After a while, the seeker would give up because the person hiding is no fun to play with. There is no suspense, no investment and no finding, which is always the best part of the game.

Setting a boundary is not making a threat Setting a boundary is not making a threat – it is communicating clearly what the consequences will be if the other person continues to treat you in an unacceptable manner. Do your actions, words, and appearance reflect that truth?

It is a consequence of the other person disrespecting your wishes.

After a few days or weeks of this text exchange, your guy mysteriously gets carpal tunnel syndrome and stops texting. After ignoring your mom, you scratch your head and wonder why all of a sudden after a week or two of heated pursuit, the guy now seems so distant and the messages are becoming more sporadic. But this is what we do by rushing relationships, setting poor boundaries and using technology inappropriately.

So you respond even faster to his messages until they run dry. We overdo it by being constantly available and destroy a budding relationship when it’s fragile and without roots.




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Too much time, when you could’ve just cut to the chase and figured out how to attract girls. Think of how many times you’ve taken time out of your day to do something for somebody without being prompted. Other times that you’ve texted girls non-stop, chased after them on the street, admitted your feelings to them, bought them dinners, tried to impress them with your nice cars – all of that is showing investment.


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