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If you do meet someone special within the first year of recovery, taking it slowly and being honest that your sobriety is the most important factor in your life is crucial.

Dating in recovery can be challenging for many reasons.

Some people may need to attend 12-step meetings three times a day in the first few weeks to get through this difficult transition period.

Another vital step in the early weeks is to find a sponsor by attending a few different meetings and seeing how you relate to various individuals.

Many have a hard time accepting that a hiatus from intimate relationships is necessary.

In their minds, dating and new relationships seem benign.

Like one who lives in deceit, I stone myself and call for help Your wound grows and grows It slits my throat from vein to vein. There are hundreds of stories and resources for addicts.

From the abundance of strong emotions at the beginning of a relationship, to the emotional turmoil experienced during a breakup, dating can often cause a person to put their recovery on the back burner, or worse – experience a relapse.In my case, there were months of lying about his sobriety when I just wasn’t sure whether he was drinking or not.Had I begun the list sooner, instead of listening to the words I so wanted to believe, I would have saved myself at least a year of heartbreak.Recovering addicts hear this all the time in 12-step programs.However, this sound bit of wisdom is rarely heeded.There will always be another excuse, another mistake, another relapse, another addiction or anger about a parent’s addiction that they need their lifetime and yours to get over. When my husband first relapsed after his mother died, my well-meaning Christian father told me to “just love him.” But that’s the problem with the addict; the more you love, the more they take of you and everything else, until there’s nothing left to give. While most other people tried to be polite, or pray for me, their comments seemed to gently gloss over what was actually happening. I can do better.” Instead, I stayed, w—a—y too long. Both the addict and the co-dependent will do anything to hide their sense of inadequacy.I realized over the years I had become less of myself. When someone doesn’t fit into the perceived notion of what an addict is, it’s hard for people to know what to say. There is nobody that tries harder at being “normal” than an alcoholic and his/her family.They cannot or should not assume this responsibility.It is essential to see a psychotherapist if you have continuing care or aftercare as part of your overall treatment program.Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but assuming that we would not want our emotional and mental well-being to hinge on a miracle, is it worth the risk?But this is not what the recovering addict is thinking about.If not, call your treatment facility and ask for a referral.Returning home causes a major shift in family situations.This is why it is often recommended that you wait at least a full year before starting to date in recovery.Many experts in addiction treatment strongly encourage their clients to wait at least one year before beginning a new relationship. The first year of addiction recovery is a vital time when your sobriety should be in the absolute forefront and will take all of your focus and energy.




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