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As a published Penguin author, Vanessa regularly speaks and appears in the media to talk about her research. First date conversations can be rough; here are some softballs.I'm not sure that there is any actual data to support this, but first dates are the most stressful moment in a person's life.

You can learn a decent deal about someone with largely innocuous questions and decide if you're up for sharing more important stuff plus this could give some hints at future gift ideas.It’s more than likely that the reason you weren’t able to connect with your date was something so unbearably simple it has eluded even the most experienced daters for centuries: the conversation was bad. Bad conversation is completely avoidable with the right knowledge and a little effort.Most people just get stuck in a loop of small talk and never evolve into a more meaningful dialogue.Unless you're one of those types with an unhealthy level of self-, you have probably felt a crushing amount of anxiety at the prospect that someone wouldn't immediately think you're the cat's PJs*.The good news is that you've already made enough of a first impression that this person agreed to a date with you (unless it's one of those blind dates and that's an absolute crapshoot even with the best of preparation).Don't be a jerk about it, slide these in there casual-like.How many times have you been on a date with someone you really wanted to know, but the chemistry just wasn’t there?Small changes to your existing script can actually turn a small talk snooze-fest into an invigorating platform for two people to connect on a human level. As it turns out, small talk is actually good for you.You can achieve this instantaneously by keeping some simple tricks in mind. It is a safe way to get to know your date and decide whether you are compatible on the most basic level before delving deeper into your lives.Vanessa Van Edwards is a published author and behavioral investigator.She is a Huffington Post columnist and her courses and research has been featured on CNN, Forbes, Business Week and the Wall Street Journal.Common small talk topics include: type of discussion between you and your date.Lengthy, meaningful conversation has been scientifically proven to indicate happiness.Some people say that certain topics are off-limits for first dates and I some merit in that assertion.Which leaves you with doing stuff and small talk as the only the only way to interact.




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