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She was on standby for the immense amount of agony a relationship can bring.Lynn felt the fear in her chest just waiting for things to become scary and destructive.Most likely that you were comfortable with the behavior you received from them.Reach deep into your childhood and recognize parental behaviors that might have felt similar. Do not get into a relationship too quickly (I am talking years).

Using alcohol and illicit substances is a common way of coping with the pain of abuse.It is important to not blame yourself for having been abused, no matter what the circumstances of your abuse may have been.People tend to blame themselves for 'allowing' abuse to have happened to themselves.What people do have control over is their choice to seek help, and to make the commitments necessary to help themselves recover.It is by this last yardstick (how much people choose to actively work at helping themselves recover rather than passively accepting that they are 'ruined') only that it may appropriate to judge abused people. T, I stumbled upon this site when I was doing research on how to initiate Mother’s Day events between my ex and my children when their mother is emotionally abusive and has not had a consistent relationship with her children in many (16) months.As I began to read the blog entries, I was struck by the fact that few men had posted.Ani was no different."There are things that can bond stronger than love, and that's trauma," she says.Emotionally abused women, though their abuse isn't visible through physical scars, can experience post-breakup symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).A way to put those years of therapy, which had taught her that the easiest way to heal was to forgive, to the test."Wow, thanks," responded the now-stranger."No problem," she replied. The man who, according to Ani, was a pathological liar and master manipulator; who left her depressed, anxious, and bedridden for months; and whose name she could barely speak since their breakup in 2004.She says that over time — and months of self-help after struggles she had faced to let him go — he had lost the magical edge.I spent my whole relationship hoping my wife would “grow up” and had no understanding of BPD and its impact.What I got from the relationship was adoration, but not love and I mistakenly confused the two as the same thing for many years.However, Lynn is still plagued by the pain and aftermath of a domestically violent relationship.She is reacting to her current boyfriend as is he was a monster; only the monster was long gone.

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